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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there.
Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

via: Anti Joke
Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand?
Girl: No
Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

via: Anti-Pickup Line
On a Chevrolet Corvette

"The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

via: Clarksonisms

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